A 4 year old's grief

If there is one thing I was not prepared for it was how much your death would affect Colin. I guess I was so focused on how I would cope, I hadn't really thought about how he would do! In his little 4 year old mind he doesn't understand the concept of death. But it has given me the opportunity to teach him that this life here on earth is not our home, our home is in Heaven with our Redeemer. He now looks forward to Jesus return more than ever and I get asked frequently when the "new heaven and the new earth will be here so I can see my grandpa again and show him all my new toys and teach him how to play lego Batman on the Wii!" Lots of tears have been flowing since yesterday and I hadn't really thought too much about the date that was coming. Until mom brought it to my attention that today was the 13th...your 8 month heavenly birthday! Somehow even without being aware it was coming, he just knew it was your "birthday" and has been shedding many tears over it. First at preschool yesterday, then at lunch time, then later after nap, and again this afternoon. While doing his Cubbies book with him we came to a lesson that talks about our ability to talk and share with God anything we want. It asks the kids to draw something that they talk to God about. Immediately he says, "I talk to God about how much I miss my grandpa and want him back!" So he drew a picture of you and told me, "I drew crazy hair just like my grandpa had!" with a big smirk on his face! He really misses you daddy and I have to say we all share those feelings! Our hearts still ache, our minds still cannot grasp that you are not here anymore, and our deepest desire is to be reunited with you and Jesus in Heaven forever! This place is not our home!
Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley