Things I want to tell my dad...: His TImeline

I finally hit the big 2-8 last week! On one hand I feel so old but on the other hand I feel like I am a toddler still. Trying to navigate this crazy thing called life and raise these kids God has so graciously bestowed on me and Bryan. I sat through a mommy "pep talk" a week ago and one thing she said really stuck with me. She said something along the lines of, "You were put on God's timeline at the EXACT moment He needed you. He said, 'Now is the time for {Carley} to enter my story so I can use her for my Kingdom', and it was so." Truthfully dad I am a very fearful & anxious person when it comes to my future. I always have been, as you know all too well. I spent many nights laying on your floor terrified of what might happen or crying during a panic attack 100% certain I was dying. My life's verse seems to be

for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 1 Timothy 1:7

I have spent so much time living in fear of what the future would be like for my children as the world around me falls deeper and deeper into the abyss of immorality and sin. I look around me and get this pit in my stomach that my children will have such a difficult time standing up for righteousness and the even more nauseating thought of, what if they don't?! "Maybe I was selfish to bring them into this horribly messed up world" the thought often creeps into my mind. But her words echoed in my head, God NEEDS these little ones for HIS story. On 9-11 He decided it was time for Colin to enter His story. Then on 4-7 it was Cecily's time. Again on 1-13 Owen would fulfill God's calling to enter the world. He needed another Light (as her name means) and on 7-23 His Light shined brighter and Lucy entered the world. His story needed another character so on 4-13 Lincoln was born. Yes they will come under much attack both by the enemy and those around them, but God has something so amazing in store for them if they surrender to His purpose and will for their lives. So many times I have wondered what my purpose is in this life. Why was I put here when I was? I may never know on this side of the Heaven but I am certain of one thing: My life and everyone that will come because of my life, has an incredibly important role in making HIS story something GREAT!

So this new year as a 28 year old will bring many new things for me, of that I am sure. One thing will remain the same, my desire to fall deeper in love with the One who made me!

Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley