My kids didn't nap....again. And fighting is erupting like a volcano so I need to go be mommy. I love you and miss you!
Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley
A journal to help me heal. On June 13th, we lost a husband, father, and grandpa to cancer. He is greatly missed and left a huge hole in all our hearts!
Monday, January 28, 2013
Confessions of a Failing Mom
I've mentioned a few times that I've been struggling with life lately, but haven't really gone into details. I have started countless posts and get a sentence or two written then stop. To be honest I don't know where to start, I am struggling in almost every area of my life. My house is beginning to look like a natural disaster hit, I am short tempered with Bryan and the kids, most of my day is spent disciplining kids and feeling nauseous, my relationship with The Lord has totally been lacking, and my anxiety is through the roof! It all came crashing down on me a few weeks ago and I called Bryan sobbing telling him I couldn't do it anymore. The more I tried the more I failed. Key word being I, refer back to my confession of my relationship with God falling by the way side. Obviously I'm going to fail. Apart from Him we can do nothing and that's exactly what I'm trying in vain to do. A friend suggested I read "When I don't desire God:How to fight for joy" by John Piper. So the next few weeks will be my journey to get back the closeness I once had with Him, forgiving Him for taking you, and forgiving myself for all the areas I have tried to live without Him. So I have taken a step back, gotten rid of my FB, cleared up my calendar of what I could, and am trying to keep my focus on Him, my husband, my kids, and the role I have as their wife and mother.
My kids didn't nap....again. And fighting is erupting like a volcano so I need to go be mommy. I love you and miss you!
Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley
My kids didn't nap....again. And fighting is erupting like a volcano so I need to go be mommy. I love you and miss you!
Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley
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Carley, I am here when/if you need me...we can study together again and that study will be something you can accomplish - from no homework to a little or more, whatever you decide...when you are ready and if you want. I am proud of you for setting things aside to focus on our God and to do the hard journey. Love you Mom #2 ;)
ReplyDeleteAww. Praying for you guys!
ReplyDeleteLove and Hugs! I really can understand how you feel... well somewhat. At least about the mommy, wife, house and relationship with the Lord stuff. My house is disgusting, I'm snappy, feel like a failure, my health is a concern and I struggle with anxiety too. I know God will get us through these trying times. His mercies never end right? They NEVER end even when we feel like failures. I keep praying, even though it's hard to understand, what Lird can I learn through this?... Blessings and Grace are yours.
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