A Small Miracle

   Wow! I can't believe how long it's been since I've written! I thought I had just been on here and realized it had been a while. I've got lots to say and tons of pictures! Let's start in chronological order shall we? (or what I remember the order being!) Almost 2 weeks ago Owen was just not acting like himself. He was clingy, fussy, and overall seemed like something was bothering him. He didn't have any obvious signs of having issues but as the week went on it occurred to me that the cold he had a few weeks prior may have given him an ear infection, so I took him to the pediatricians office and sure enough, he had a double ear infection! I am usually right when I suspect them so it once again reassured me that I am not as terrible a mother as I think I am! hehe I don't normally just jump in and do the antibiotic, I try other things first, but the dr said he had probably had it for a while and he had a LOT of fluid behind his ears so I went ahead and did the antibiotic. Within 48 hours and he was back to being my happy, mellow, sweet boy! It's amazing how something like an ear infection can affect them so much! It did bring back a memory I have that always sticks out in my mind. As you know, I had ear infections constantly as a child, and everytime I had to go in I HATED it! I remember how bad it hurt to have that ear scope shoved in your ear and Dr. Linn (I think it was) wasn't all that gentle. The very last ear infection I had, I remember laying on the floor of the living room. My ear hurt so bad but I didn't dare say anything because I did NOT want to go in, however you and mom aren't dumb (yes I am finally admitting that!) and knew what was up. You put me in the car and started on the very short drive to the dr office. I remember begging you to take me back home and you said that I needed to go in. I asked you to pray for me, and with no hesitation you pulled over and prayed for me. Within minutes my ear began to hurt less and less and within 5 minutes it was GONE! You thought I was making it up to get out of going so you made me go in and sure enough, she looked in my ear and said, "Nothing is wrong!" So we went home and I never suffered with another ear infection ever again! The first of many miracles I remember seeing as I grew up! Even at a young age I saw and experienced the power of prayer and a father who would always call on the name of Jesus to heal his children. I guess why I am having such a hard time accepting that Jesus didn't heal you, He healed all of us and spared us from death on so many occasions, we all know the power He has and had begged and pleaded He would show it through your healing. His answer however, was not this time. A hard pill to swallow!
   Moving on...Owen started pulling up on everything! If he thinks he can use it to stand...he will! It has resulted in many, many bruises and bumps but it's part of this stage! He will get better and better and pretty soon he won't fall so much. He is already doing so much better even from last week! It's so crazy to see your kids growing up and learning new things every day. You'd think him being my 3rd it wouldn't really phase me, but I am still in awe of how precious and wonderful each stage is! I cherish these little ones and I feel so honored to be their mom; guiding them, teaching them, and loving them as they grow and mature.
  Well mom finally tackled the hardest part of the house for us to clean out...the garage. I was not there for most of it, yet I still pulled up and was filled with emotion seeing all your stuff in the driveway. Luke, Reuben, and Stephen came out from Minnesota to help Christian clean it out and they were such a blessing to mommy! Reuben dug a decaying frog out of the concrete/wall, the boys took everything out, sorted it, hosed it off, and put it back in. They went above and beyond to help mommy out and I hope they are blessed because of it! Towards the end they started goofing off and found some hoola-hoops to play with. I got some funny pics of that! I also took pics of your ATV's and your jet-skiis (which will soon be sold). We are all sad to see the jet-skiis go but they don't have good memories for mommy so she wants them gone! You just HAD to make her mad when you bought them, and now we are the ones paying for it! hehe Mommy also realized that you were a boarder-line hoarder! We found so many random things sitting around, and the only reason it didn't look like much, is because your garage is so big! Christian found a brand new cell phone new in the shipping box on the floor in there. What were you planning on doing with it?! I guess we will never know this side of heaven! But now the junk and clutter is gone and it's sparkling clean! (With a few black widows and scorpions i'm sure!)
   Thursday I babysat little Talon and he was such a fun kid to watch! Cecily and him got along great and they played all morning/afternoon. We went to the park, mommy's house to pick up Colin (who had a grammie sleepover and slept on your side of the bed), played with Curly, then went to Sonic to get slushies. It was a fun day and despite only getting an hour and a half of sleep the night before (courtesy of Owen) I managed to last the whole day without feeling too bad! Talon enjoyed playing with all the baby toys and rode around in Owen's walker for a while. It cracked me up! Kids don't generally like the baby stuff as babies...but when they get older it's the coolest stuff ever!
   Friday I took Dorothy out for a shopping trip with me and Cecily for the help she gives me all the time. We walked around San Tan Mall, bought her some fun jewelry at Charming Charlies, and then went to Chipotle for lunch. Guess which part was Dorothy's favorite and which was Cecilys? haha I also had a sweet phone call with my friend Julie and we chatted about life, new adventures for her and her family, as well as her loss of her parents. I told her that my biggest struggle right now is trying to remember the fun times with you, more than the painful last ones. My brain immediately goes to the last few weeks of your life, seeing you so sick, aging 30 years in a matter of weeks, the life slowly fading out of you, and the difficulty of watching your dad die with nothing you can do about it. I so want to look back and have happy thoughts and sweet memories but instead I always end up at your death and I feel sick. I pray with time that fades and I am able to remember the good times over the bad. I think part of it is that Colin is stuck on that part of your life as well. He says to me everyday, "My grandpa was throwing up, and he died!" Even though I know he has so many wonderful memories with you, he also is stuck on the last ones he has of you. Another thing I pray with time will change. I am faithful to show him pictures and videos of all the things you guys did together, and how much you love him. He tells me everyday that he wants to throw nana peels at you, so you better watch out! One of these days he will get that wish! Ok, so after that I made a lemon chicken soup for everyone at your house and we had a nice family dinner together. Wayne of course didn't eat it because he hates soup, but every one else enjoyed it!
   Saturday I taught ballet in the morning which as you know is right in my element! They are such a sweet little group of girls and I even have Marilyn's grand-daughter this year. I am amazed every week how much they remember from the weeks before. By the end of the year they will be little pros! Then after teaching I "needed" to get a sweater for our family pics we had that evening. So Bryan lovingly went to the mall with me and we got an outfit for me. After all that shopping we decided to go to the Old Spaghetti Factory for lunch. They have gluten free pasta so Cessy could eat there! However, it was pointless because instead of eating the GF noodles with meat sauce, she dipped my potato chips in the meat sauce and didn't eat a single noodle! Stinker! But I made Bryan get an Italian soda with me and they were delicious! I got strawberry and he got orange. We all came home, had naps, and then got ready for pics. We took them in Agritopia and of course Tamara was our photographer. She did a fantastic job as always and I am so excited to see all of them! The kids actually cooperated really well despite the fact that they woke up on the wrong side of the bed after naps! haha Then that night we had a milk and cookies girl night at Tamara's and a lovely group of girls came! We ate cookies, drank milk, chatted, and played a board game. It was a nice evening for all of us I think!
  I think I am beginning to come out of my "darkness". Even Bryan has noticed that I am not in the same state of mind that I was a few weeks ago. I don't feel overwhelmed by your loss, though I miss you terribly, and even though I still cry, I do not find myself uncontrollably sobbing like I used to. We visited your grave tonight for the first time since your birthday and it was harder than I had anticipated. I didn't expect to be emotional, but seeing a new grave right next to yours brought back all the initial feelings I had after the first time we visited you. My heart broke for that family and I couldn't help but cry the whole way home. Bryan just held my hand, Colin asked why mommy was crying, and Cecily just sang Veggie Tales in the back seat. It was tough, but good.
  So here I am, Cecily is putting a blanket over my head, Owen crawling around getting into mischief and the two oldest "boys" playing games together. We all miss you and love you so very much! Anxiously waiting for the day that we are all reunited with you and Jesus!
  Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley
 Here are all the pics in order of events!