Comfortable

Lately I have been thinking about WHY I don't feel the need to constantly post on FB or talk in person about all the things that I "Stand for". I wondered if it was because I was in some ways embarrassed, ashamed, or unsure of my decisions. And maybe initially those were some of my hesitations, but as I have thought and prayed about my heart and relationship with Him, I have come to realize something so simple...I don't care what people think of me! I don't care if they want me to vaccinate and think I am reckless for not. I don't care of they think I am crazy for having as many children as God gives me and desiring HIM to plan my family. I don't care if they think I am irresponsible by using natural ways to keep us healthy over medical ways. I don't care if they think I am "sheltering" my kids by not wanting to put them in child care, or leaving them with strangers for small periods of time, or homeschooling them vs public school. I don't care if they think I am "spoiling" my babies by not agreeing with the CIO method. I don't care if they think it's gross that I still nurse my 2.5 year old. I don't care if people see that I am feeding my kids healthy organic foods for every meal or if I decide we are going to Chick-fil-a for dinner for the second time that week because I don't have the energy to cook. I don't care if people think we are nuts for celebrating different holidays than everyone else. God has given me (and Bryan) very firm beliefs and convictions and I refuse to feel the need to justify them, defend them, or flaunt them. I watched you LIVE your life with conviction without shoving it in people's faces, and that spoke volumes! You drew people in to you by your Christ-like love and desire to truly understand and help them. I want to be the same. I don't care how people chose to live their lives, to me it makes no difference. I want to love them where they are at, no matter what they think or believe, and if God uses me in their life to show them His love, fantastic! Over the last two years I have had such an amazing and difficult journey of finding myself again, finding Him again, and realizing that the convictions I have, most of which were instilled in me by you, didn't die with you. You may have planted the seeds but HE watered them and is continuing to water, prune, and cultivate those convictions in my life and through me, the lives of my kids. I am so thankful to finally feel comfortable in my own skin and to say with abandon that I am crazy and crazy in Love with the One who saved me and pulled me out of the pit of despair!
I love you daddy!
Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley

Your grandbabies are growing fast!