Slightly Less than Golden

Thursday was your little Weston's golden birthday! He turned 8 whole years! What a wonderful little boy he has become! He is so sweet to his niece and nephews...even when they are trying his patience by getting into his things, breaking his toys, asking to play on the Wii 1,000x in one day, etc. He is still OCD about cleanliness among other things and as mom puts it, "a bit of a freak out" with things that aren't going his way....you wouldn't know what i'm talking about because you NEVER freaked out if plans changed or didn't go according to how you wanted. hehehe Even though you're gone, we still feel like we have a piece of you here because Weston is so much like you! He even looks like you! I think he should have been the Wayne Jr...although I do find it funny when I think about how much of a polar opposite the real Wayne Jr is compared to you! Anyhow, Mommy wasn't feeling well on Thursday so when I stopped by in the morning while Colin was in pre-school I saw that she hadn't felt up to getting him his birthday doughnuts and he was a little...ok very freaked out about it. So I told mom I would go get them so he'd calm down. Which btw, I got totally lost, my GPS took me out to like Rittenhouse and Hawes or something like that, and my fuel light came on...kind of stressful! BUT I made it! We ate our doughnuts, and I told mom I'd take him to the mall since she had to take Dorothy to an appt. Picked up Colin at pre-school and headed to the mall, all the while your little boy was in the backseat looking completely sad and fatherless. I could just read all over his face how much he missed you, you would have been the one to take him out for breakfast, do something with him and Jake, etc. And instead is uncool sister and her 3 crabby nap-less children were trying to fill in that spot! I failed miserably! My kids were awful, Colin was being demanding, Cecily was being stubborn, and Owen wouldn't let me put him down. It was not very fun for either me or Weston. To make matters worse, mommy told Weston his birthday party would have to wait a few weekends because she needed to get his invites out still and oh man...that did NOT go over well! Refer to earlier statement...he does not do well when plans change or don't go according to his plan! So he spent most of his birthday a very sad/mad birthday boy! hehe But mom tried to make it up to him and took him and Jake to Wreck it Ralph yesterday, so I hope that helped a little...for mom's sake if nothing else! Because if Weston ain't happy...ain't no one happy!
   Last week went by quick...yet slow. Like most of my life at present! Cecily has had a very stubborn streak in her this last week so we have spent countless hours disciplining her just to do things like eat, put shoes on that actually still fit, get in HER car seat instead of her brothers, walk instead of be carried, let me do her hair, pick up the chips she dropped on the floor, stay in bed at nap time...etc. She has the will of a wild stallion! haha Things that shouldn't even be a battle...end up one because she just flat out refuses to do ANYTHING you ask. BUT we are winning whether she likes it or not and she will obey whether she likes it or not! She may call herself Princess Cessy (which btw, she told someone who asked her at the mall that her name was Princess Cessy) but I am Queen of this house, so I rule! :-D We went to the train park last week as well with Megan and the kiddos so that was fun. Owen loved the trains and was so excited to ride it! Colin was more into playing superheros on the train than playing...I dunno...A train conductor! haha But hey, what can ya do?! He had his 4 year check up and the dr said he looks great! He was telling him all about what he's learned in preschool with Ms. Tracy and Dr Jones said he was a genius to which he did a "Sheldon" chuckle and said, "Yea, I know!" Dr Jones said he is still in the 90th+ for height and weight and following his growth curve perfectly. He is starting to lose a lot of his baby-ness though which has my sad! He is beginning to look like a boy and believe it or not he is totally thinning out! His pants for the first time in his life are falling off without a belt!! Mom said he looks like he may be built more like Wayne Jr after all! Wouldn't that be weird to have the body of Wayne and the face of Bryan! ahahaha
   So, every since you died I have asked the Lord to give me a dream of you before you were sickly and obviously still alive. I have heard people who lost a parent say that it was so wonderful to have those dreams with them in it. I wanted to have that "time" with you too, but everytime I asked he replied, "You aren't ready". I could not figure out what He meant by that! How could I not be ready?!?! As always though, the Lord knows me better than I know myself, but He finally gave in and gave me a dream with my daddy in it. You came over for a little bit, we talked, I could actually smell you in my dream, and you gave me a hug just like how you used to...a big bear hug with my face planted against your boney chest. It wasn't long...in fact it was very brief...but when I woke up I was totally depressed! Normally you have dreams where something happens to someone and then you wake up and go, "OH WHEW! That was just a dream!" But in this case, I woke up and the reality is, you really are gone! So all day yesterday I was "messed up", crying, cloudy, sick to my stomach, and knew what God meant when He said I wasn't ready. I really was not ready to have "time" with you because my heart has not healed enough yet. So, now I am just praying I don't get another one anytime soon because it really did suck!
   Well it's actually a COLD (ok cold for AZ) November day, so I am going to make a chicken tortilla soup for dinner which needs to get started! We are going to meet the new youth pastor candidate tonight at church...I figure I should probably go because even though Colin is only 4...he'll be 13 before I know it! :-)
I love you and miss you much!!!!!!
 Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley
The first ones are of the train park, then I took some pics of Westy opening his presents. Cecily and Owen were being the annoying kids who try to open them before you do then totally hog them after! haha But he was a good sport anyways! And the last one is of how Owen fell asleep the other night. He was crying and being a stinker about falling asleep so I gave up, stuck him on the floor, and a minute later he found brother's blanket and crashed! Of course, Colin saw he was on HIS blanket right after this picture and pulled it out from under him which need less to say woke him up! GRH!