Not-So-Sweet 48

    This one is going to be totally depressing because its all about mommy's first birthday without her hubby! Last year, you knew she was going to Einsteins bagels for breakfast, so you had flowers and a gift sitting at a table for her. This year, she went there for breakfast only to find an empty table. That just makes my heart ache and my eyes tear up just thinking about it! Her friends were so sweet and I know they helped make her birthday a little brighter, but there is only so much any of us can do! No one can replace her one and only! I did however try to do something special for her, I wanted to throw her a HUGE surprise party, BUT we all know how much she would have loved that, even if you were here! Hehe So instead we all went to Hobart house and Tobin and I made a build your own gourmet pizza bar. It was delicious! Then she took Weston and Dorothy out for a little socializing since it was Halloween. I had to keep the kids inside because Agritopia folks like to totally go all out and set up the creepiest displays! As it was just driving past them to get there the kids were crying in the back seat. When they got back momma opened gifts and we had some amazing cupcakes. She got adorable bird serving utensils, battery candles, a coach wallet, a tea organizer, and 2 movies she ASKED for! You wanna know what they are?! You will never guess....and we all think she lost her marbles! X-men and fantastic 4!!!!! How weird is that?!?! Bryan questioned her sanity and how well she is doing emotionally. Hahaha Her reasoning is she has 2 boys to raise on her own now so she has to learn what makes them tick! I guess it's valid but boy is it ever weirding us out! Last month she asked if I'd go see Avengers with her, I declined, needless to say! So all in all, it was just yet another celebration that had a hole in it. I told mom I don't know when it'll seem normal to not have you there, yet at the same time I don't ever want it to seem normal. Christian and Mattie weren't there because Christian surprised Mattie with a trip to Lake Tahoe for her birthday. He is such a thoughtful hubby! Although, Bryan says he is setting the bar too high early on, no where to go but up! HAHA He is being silly of course, but it made me laugh! In all seriousness, he (Christian) really is a wonderful, caring, creative, supportive husband and I am glad he chose my sister to forever spoil! She deserves it!
   I have to rant today, ready? Halloween! Why, oh why do people think stuff like graveyards, death, etc. are FUN?!?!? Every where we have gone for the last month we have come accross graveyard decor and all Colin says is, "mom, is someone buried there?" "My grandpa is buried." "Are we at a mineral home?" Etc. Death is NOT pleasant, it's not funny, and I don't think it's appropriate to treat it as such! Sure for those of you in heaven its fantastic! But for those left on earth or those who didn't know Christ when they died its awful, painful, and heart wrenching!  I know I'm taking things very seriously right now because of my grief but I will never understand the appeal. And Bryan pretty much nailed it when he said, "It's just grown women's excuse for dressing like a slut!" As if shielded my kids eyes from all the zombies, vampires, witches, goblins, etc was bad enough, I also have to keep my boys from being exposed to girls/women who think it's totally acceptable "because it's Halloween" to dress like a tramp! Ugh!
    I better get off that one before I get in trouble! hehe Mommy decorated the front patio really pretty for fall, even planted flowers in the big pots. We were joking that our houses are like we are, the outsides we are keeping all nice and neat, but the inside is a filthy disaster! Neither of us can keep up with the cleaning (mom has more of an excuse than I do, but I am still finding it impossible to get a single thing done!) and it's really starting to weigh on us. I think we are both getting to a point where we are just having to let it go at the moment knowing we can't do as much as we would like. Although, somethings like laundry, have to be done and when you don't...it really comes back to bite you! I put off laundry for 2 weeks...yea....it took an hour just to sort everything and I am now spending the next 3+ days doing 20+ loads to catch back up. I promised myself I wouldn't do that, but here I sit (ok not literally) in a pile of laundry that is bigger than me! Our trip totally threw off my groove. I had a nice cooking, cleaning, and laundry routine going...and sure enough....it's all messed up now! Next week I am determined to get back on that schedule so that I don't feel like such a frazzled mess. Today has been difficult because ever since we got back from Missouri Owen has had a cold, Cecily got it a few days ago, and today Colin woke up with it, so crabbiness is an understatement and sleep at night is almost non-existent! I haven't even gotten a shower since...Monday and I feel soooo gross but I haven't had a minute to make it happen. Just from Monday-Wednesday we had 5 dr appointments to go to and those always cut like 2-3 hours from my day. I am having a total pity party right now, but I am just not having a good day...make that week! I had *thought* I timed naps out to where they would overlap and I'd get a nap or at least SOMETHING done. Weeelllll the kids had other plans and no one napped at the same time, and to add to it, Cecily got a bump on her head while falling off the bar stool in an attempt to make her own chocolate milk, Colin spilled naked juice all over the kitchen floor creating a very (literal) sticky situation, and now thanks to said spill, ants are starting to make there way inside. All of that while I was trying to fold laundry in the other room. So laundry is not folded, the kitchen needs to be mopped again, and Cecily is still awake in what I am pretty sure is an attempt to make me lose my sanity! haha You miss it down here don't you?!?!
  Well I better go, Owen is crying in my lap with snot all over his face and my eyes are so heavy all I can think about is the bed that I can't crawl into for another...8 hours at least! I love you daddy and missing you more each day!
  Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley
Mommy's front porch, we found a praying mantis on the ribbon!

Mommy's birthday pizza!

Owie just got an apple

 

Look who is trying to walk! 

 

The bruise on his head shows his level of stability. haha Can you believe your little Owster is almost 1?!

 The guy flicks

 Coach wallet

 Cessy watching from the stairs

 Singing to mommy

 Delicious peanut butter and chocolate cupcakes from Blessed Bakes!

 Curly was Cat-woman! ha ha ha

 Tobin and I posing

 The boys playing around...notice Owen diving off the couch

 Your grandboys are growing up fast!

Remember the laundry I told you about? Well here it is...I put Owen on top to take the picture and he fell off! haha Good thing it had a LOT of padding!