It's a Shaaaaaaark

  Your crazy little Owen turned 2 a week and a half ago. We had his party last weekend and it was quite the to-do! I decided to pour my grief into his party and with the help of Dorothy and Tobin we made some amazing party decor! Mom said we should go into business doing it but I just don't think I have the energy to do all that work again anytime soon! I am sure Owen probably will not remember this party but I know I always will so that's all that counts, right?! We had lots of family and friends there and as always I was blessed by everyone who came to celebrate our little guy with us! It was a shark theme...with some nautical twists. One of my favorite Owen quotes is when we see any type of shark and he says, "It's a shaaaaaaaark" in a very low raspy voice. It was one of the first "sentences" he put together at around a year old and since then he's had a growing love of sharks. Maybe he'll go deep see diving to see sharks someday? That would make this momma very nervous so I won't be encouraging that...but they don't always listen as you well know! hehe
  I heard a quote this week that I just loved and has had me thinking a lot about my experiences and what they have taught me. 

“Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.” 

C.S. Lewis

I was very blessed to have not had a lot of bad experiences growing up and had a great childhood that I look back on fondly. Sure there were normal kid experiences that I went through {watching you flush my fish down the toilet, getting grounded for lipping off, having my cell phone taken away when I went waaaay over my texting limits, etc} but they don't really count for anything in the world of "experience". Let's face it, most of them were self inflicted anyways! I did learn many lessons through them like my dad is heartless, to control my mouth, and that sending over 6,000 text messages in one month is not a good idea, but they weren't really all that life changing. Ok maybe the lipping off one was...but we have unlimited texting now so I am free to text however much I want! {Take that, dad!} However, after getting married I learned a hard lesson for the first time...life is fragile and uncertain. At the time I hated it and wondered why God would be so "mean" but looking back those lessons I learned through losing Geoffrey have shaped who I am today and I wouldn't change them if I could do it all over again. In the words of Bryan:

Toady's wisdom laughs at Yesterdays.

If only I knew then what I knew now I would not have fought that refining and those lessons as strongly as I did. Another aspect of those experiences that I am so grateful for is that they have given me a much deeper understanding of the pain in those around me. Had I not experienced a loss myself I would not fully be able to grieve with all the ladies around me who have walked this same path. Had I not lost you I would not know the depth of the pain you feel when you lose a parent at a young age. Sure, before those experiences I was very sad for people, but there is no way of fully comprehending pain unless you have been brought through the same fire. I have learned to treasure the fact that I can now fully sympathize with those who have walked a similar path. It's not one that I would wish on anyone...but there IS sweetness on this path, there IS hope on this path, and most importantly there IS a Savior walking it with us and for that I am truly thankful! So as much as I hate to say it, and as much as I hate that God had to pick me to gain this experience, these lessons are invaluable and this refining process {though painful} will produce the most beautiful jewel in me if I allow Him to fully shape and mold me. 

  I love you and miss you, oh how I miss you! Heaven seems like forever when I know not how long I have left until I see you again!

Your Favorite Second Born,

Carley

Some party pics...We went a little overboard!

 This was a special tribute to you...I don't know if you remember this but about 4 years back you forgot about my birthday until last minute so you went to CVS and bought the most random gifts ever. One of which was a shark fin ice cube mold. At the time I almost just gave it away because I thought "when am I ever going to use that?!" But as always God had a plan...even for a shark fin ice mold! So we thought of you everytime we saw the sharks circling the punch bowl! Thanks for the gift!

 The kiddos were digging for shark teeth