This has been a long weekend. Colin started coming down with a cold and 3 days later...both Bryan and I now have it. I am worse off than he is but that's pretty common! He has an immune system of steel and mine breaks like glass in the hands of a 2 year old! Just like you always said, "Expectations + Reality = Disappointment." We had a lot of fun things planned the last few days and had to cancel them all! Totally disappointing! We had Colin's birthday party planned for Saturday and had to postpone it, thankfully he hasn't been too upset about it because I am getting him all hyped up for this coming weekend! Then I was supposed to start 2's and 3's this morning but was too sick to do it, poor Gigi got stuck teaching it because both her teachers for second hour were sick. And I also had a baby shower for Allison this afternoon and had to miss that as well! I now have 2 baby shower gifts that have not made it to their proper home. That's life I guess! This week is supposed to have a lot of fun things going on but I am not getting my hopes up that it will all happen because it has yet to hit Cecily or Owen. Tuesday is Colin's actual birthday and I want to do some fun stuff with him so I am hoping that we are all better by then! I can't believe he will be 4! How time flies! Seems just like just yesterday when you came over to meet your first grandbaby...yet at the same time it seems like an eternity since we've seen you. Colin keeps talking about you and Cecily calls out for you every you every so often, "Grandpa, where are you?!" Life is not the same without you here!
I have been battling my own issues the last week or so, I am struggling to come to terms with the fact that you are gone, and it's causing me to lose focus and motivation. My house is suffering a lot (laundry, dishes, etc) but my poor family is the biggest recipients of my "blah" state of mind. School with Colin has just not happened like I want it to, I am getting really irritable in handling their tantrums and melt-downs (which Bryan says are worse right now because they are sensing my emotions and I know he is right), and my communication with Bryan has been severely lacking. I have tried so hard to get out of this funk but I'm drowning a little. Maybe part of it is the fact that I was coming down with something but I know part of it is past emotions coming back up. Just when I think I am returning to a more "normal" mind set I am reminded of the life that was lost and I can't bear it! We miss you, need you, and want you more and more each day. As things happen, the kids grow up, and holidays approach they have an empty space in them. As the years go on I know it won't seem quite so heavy as it does now, but I know it will always seem a little...abnormal to not have you here. Again, my expectation was to have you here to see my kids grow up, watch you grow old with mommy, go on fun trips after you retire, see your hair go pink before it turns white, etc. But the reality is you are gone. We will not get to experience any of those things! Can you say disappointing?!?!
So, to not end this on a totally depressing note (because to be honest, that is where I am right now) here are some updates on your grandbabies. Colin is still quite the character! Today while playing his 30 minutes of Minecraft I hear from the other room, "Daddy! I killed the cow and got dinner!" Something I never thought I'd hear coming out of my 4 year olds mouth! He has been a bit of a wreck the last few days but if he is feeling like I am, I totally sympathize because I feel like crud! Cecily is her usual cute, manipulative, mischievous self! Poor Owen is usually at the receiving end of her craziness and we always know when she is approaching him because he starts crying to alert us that danger is near! She means well but always ends up hurting him somehow! Yesterday all of the these things were said to her at one point, "Don't sit on your brother. Don't lay on your brother. Don't butt drop on your brother. Don't squeeze your brother head. Don't take toys from your brother. Don't pull your brothers arm or leg. Don't stick your finger in Owen's eyes, ears, mouth, or nose." And I'm sure I am forgetting some! She still loves Princesses, Jessie, Woody, and Buzz and sings Veggie Tales all day. She also likes to strike the bird, Larry, on the iPad and laughs hysterically when he fries to a crisp...a little morbid but we are working on it! Which leads me to Owen, he is sooooo close to crawling and pulling up on things! His chunky butt is just a bit much for his legs still. But I admit I am happy that he is still fairly immobile. He rolls and scoots to get around but it's much slower than crawling or *gulp* walking. I am not ready for those things yet! He loves to laugh, go in the swing outside, his lovies from mimi, to play with his brother, and to bounce on the bed with daddy. He is my sunshine even when he is like velcro to me! hehe
I love you and I miss you so much it hurts!
Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley
Just some pictures from the last few days. Your chubby boy in the bath, the boys under the table (play time with daddy is never boring!), Cecily's outfit that she picked out herself (including ear muffs!), and the boys in the pillow fort that Bryan made. He is MUCH cooler than I am! hehe And lastly my precious little boy sleeping in his crib. The first one though is of you with your little Colly Wally. He misses his grandpa!
Ah, sibling love. Little Ryan instigated trouble SO often (and was told "no no!") that for a time toddler-Dave called him "No-no Moy" (no-no boy). I think he thought that was Ryan's name.
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