Today has been a day of constant little reminders of you. It started with doing laundry...I was pulling shirts out of the hamper and came to the shirt that I wore the last time I saw you alive. Oddly, it was my Like Life shirt. I smelled it to see if it had your smell on it but all I got was Bryan's BO. hehe Then as I was putting laundry away I saw a few shirts hanging up that you bought me over the years including the most recent Coldwater Creek one that you got me after I had Owen. That one will always have a special place in my heart. Then as I was cleaning out some stuff in our garage I found a can of paint with Wayne Anderson sharpied across the top. And the one that finally broke me down...listening to my ipod in the car and the song that we danced to at my wedding for our Father/Daughter dance came on. I started crying and Colin was quick to try to comfort me. My mind quickly started thinking about how blessed I am that I actually have that moment with my daddy. Stacey, Tobin, and Dorothy will never get to have a Father/Daughter dance with you. It seems so unfair...but as you always said, life isn't fair. I am trying to come to terms with that! So many things in this seem unfair. Cecily walked into your room and saw a pile of blankets on your side of the bed and said, "Oh grandpa is sleeping!" Mommy told her no that you were with Jesus, she then proceeded to look in the crack of the bed and said, "Oh here he is!" She misses her bampa!
Stacey and I had a chat in the car today and we both said that it's easy to think that God taking you home was the best decision for YOU but we aren't at the place yet where we feel like it was the best decision for US. Another Wayne-ism, it all boils to selfishness. Sorry daddy, but we feel like being selfish right now! hehe We do know though that your heavenly healing was far better than an earthly one, it's just hard to feel that way sometimes when we really miss you!
I finished your slideshow for the memorial service. I don't think there will be a dry eye in the place! We are excited to celebrate your life and to share with everyone there what an amazing man you were...even though everyone coming already knows that! I added pics to your slideshow as well as some new music. It was really fun to see your baby pics and see how much Wayne and Weston look like you. They may end up getting lots of extra hugs and kisses when I miss you!
I will leave you with a shocking story about Curly. Mom has been making her home-made dog food and letting her up on your bed! Did you ever think that day would come?!?! I sure didn't! She is the sweetest little puppy and has been great medicine for grieving hearts! I love you and miss you!
Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley
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