Final Good-byes cnt'd

Last night as Colin was going to bed he asked if we could go back to the "mineral" home to see grandpa Wayne. I told him we would go in the morning which finally put that to rest. Well as we were lowering your casket into the ground, he sadly asked, "when grandpa feels better is he going to come out?" it broke my heart for him! The whole rest of the day he just keeps asking to have grandpa Wayne back. It's killing me! You mean so much to him and were such an awesome grandpa! As we went to walk away from the lowered casket I told cecily to say good bye one last time and it went something like this, "bye drandpa, wuv you!" and she blew you a kiss! Just like she always did when she left your house. I don't know when she will understand what happened, but I am praying for lots of grace for the kids. Everyone keeps remarking how strong I am, and I don't know who they see because i'm a mess! I haven't even worn make up in weeks! Hehe tomorrow will be our first time going to church since you went home and to be honest I'm anxious about it. I know I will cry a lot and hearing everyone share stories about you is going to make me miss you even more! But it's part of the healing process so I will get through it with Gods grace! I love you more and more! In the words of pastor John, you showed us how to live a godly life, and how to die a godly death! Your favorite second born,
Carley