Not cool

Today was one of those days that I have to admit I was not happy that you are gone. I am not angry at God, but I may have a few words with Him when I get there. hehe I don't feel ready to let you go...but when is anyone ever READY to let a loved one go and when do we ever have the CHOICE if it happens in the first place? I watched Everybody Loves Raymond today and usually it makes me laugh but today I found it upsetting me since it was one of your favorites and we have so many jokes about the similarities between you two. Needless to say, I turned it off. Then I realized that I had packages to mail which usually I gave to you to ship from the office because it's hard taking all 3 kids to the post office...but you left me with no choice but to do it myself! Not cool! It's such a depressing realization to think of all the things that you helped me with and now you are no longer able. I was so blessed by all you did for us and wish I hadn't taken that for granted! And I also have a bone to pick with you along the lines of cleaning...I told you 2 weeks before you died that I was only cleaning your floors until July then you had to be back on your feet to do it...now you're up in heaven worshiping Jesus and i'm still cleaning your floors! Not cool! hehe
  I gave your Tahoe a little attention today and drove it to a birthday dinner for Tamara. I got in it and immediately started crying because the last time I was in it the two of us were going to Costco together. I sat there and thought back (corny I know) to all the times that we went places together. I loved our Costco dates, trips to pick up dinner, etc. It hurts so much to know that I will never get to do those things with you again! I am grateful for the times that I did have to spend with you but was anticipating many more. But reality+expectations=disappointment and I am honestly disappointed that I won't have any more daddy dates with you! Even at 24 I loved my dates with you even if they were errands or grown up things! Just being with you, talking, and getting advice was the best thing a daughter could ask for! I also had a bittersweet moment walking past the Hale Theatre and seeing the play they are currently doing...To Kill a Mockingbird. Always one of my favorite stories of you growing up!
  Owen is fussing again...his teeth need to come in already! I miss you more each day and love you like never before!
Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley
Here I am driving your Tahoe...I was very gentle with her!