Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley
A journal to help me heal. On June 13th, we lost a husband, father, and grandpa to cancer. He is greatly missed and left a huge hole in all our hearts!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Heavenly Birthday
I'm writing this to you almost exactly 24 hours from when you took your last breathe on this earth and began your eternal life with Jesus. That is a moment that is seared into my memory forever! You were holding on, fighting, then mommy whispered in your ear to go, be free! You raised your arms towards heaven and Jesus scooped you up, and brought you home. The peace and joy that washed over your face said it all! You were in the presence of Jesus! We wanted, expected, hoped, and prayed for a miracle, but Jesus knows what is best, and you are home. We miss you! Oh how we miss you!! My heart has never felt this deep of pain! I know life must go on, but I dont know how?! Fathers day is on Sunday and I can't even bear the thought of my first Fathers Day without my daddy! I want you here for just 10 more minutes when you were healthy and alert so I can talk to you and hear your voice. You shaped my life in more ways than you could ever know! I would not be who I am today without you and mom guiding me, teaching me, and showing me Jesus along the way. I am so grieved at the thought that you won't get to see my kids grow up, but I promise I will make you proud in raising them! The legacy that you left behind is truly incredible and I'm so blessed to have had you for a dad these last 24 (almost) 25 years. I know time doesn't exist for you anymore, but these have been the hardest 24 hours of my life! Just as you would want me to I am trusting that the Lord has a bigger plan for this and I am doing my best to be at peace with that. I love you, daddy!
Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley
Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley
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He is smiling down on you Carley, and I'm sure he is air hugging you.
ReplyDeleteYou always have been good at making me cry uncontrollably. Your daddy loves you, and I know he is super proud of you and each of his kids! Hold on to those precious memories forever!
ReplyDeleteBeth
Your father had an incredible effect on everyone he met because his Father had an INCREDIBLE effect on Wayne's life. It was my privilege to know your dad. Your words are a beautiful eulogy to your dad & he has left a wonderful legacy through all of you kids! JulieR
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful, Carley.
ReplyDeleteI have never had a father before. Yet I feel your loss and ache deep with in my heart tugging at the longing if only I had one moment with daddy. What a beauitful heart you have for such a beautiful God we have. Thank you for inviting us all into this journey with you as it will bring healing to you and so many more that have lost thier daddies. Kisses from heaven are the blessing of Jesus.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this, Carley~ I want you to know I'm praying for all of your family; that the peace that surpasses understanding will continually wash over you during this sad time. I know writing the feelings down helps, too, and I'm glad you have this blog to do that. Hugs to you through cyberspace!
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written Carley! You and your family will feel the deepest pain because you have known unspeakable joy. Every day is a gift and we will all walk more mindfully of that because of your wonderful dad.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your heart....I am morning with you!
ReplyDeleteThis made me cry - bittersweet tears. It is far better to be with the Lord, but oh how hard it is for us who are still here. Praying for you Carley.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your journal with us. There is no event in life more sweet and sorrowful that the passing of a Christian into Eternity with CHRIST. Your Dad...with JESUS...WOW! Now, our prayers are for your family to take the time to grieve, hold each other tighter than ever before, and live the legacy that your Dad left for you. Our sympathies, The Reed Family
ReplyDeleteSuch a good idea to heal through journaling like is. Praying for you on this journey.
ReplyDelete