Eyes towards Heaven

All your girls practiced our dance for tomorrow night. It is very emotional for us because it's a song that you loved and the words are right where we are at! "What if Your blessings comes through raindrops? What if Your healing comes through tears? And What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know Your near? What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?" I can honestly say that this trial after only a week has changed and shaped my life in more ways that I could have ever imagined! I have learned, even though I knew it in my head, that life can change in an instant. We never know what tomorrow will hold so we need to live each day with the kingdom in mind. Looking back at your life, everyday you were reaching people with the gospel in even the little things. You never ceased to give of your time, money, and energy to help those around you. Even people that you weren't necessarily close to or that in some one else mind didn't "deserved" it. I pray that I can carry on that legacy and continue to be the servant that you were. You were pretty stinken incredible and it was all because of Jesus in your life! You let Him be your example and you did your best to follow it! The other thing this experience has put in me is a new sense of excitement for Heaven. Don't get me wrong, I have always been anxious to meet Jesus, but now I long for it even more so that I can be reunited with you! It will be such a glorious day when our family is back together with no more tears and no more pain!
   Tobin wrote down a bunch of Wayne-isms and we had fun laughing at them and realizing that you did have some pretty deep thoughts in spite of your silly side. Mommy then got a little sad when she asked what Cindy-isms she had and all we could come up with were "Do your school." "Quit fighting with your sister" or "All I want for my birthday is a clean house and no fighting." I told her that her legacy is that of a tender heart, a plethora of wisdom, and like you-her love of Christ. As much as she liked those things, she was still a little upset that she wasn't known for any funny sayings. So I told her she needs to start now so that in 40+ years when she meets up with you on those streets of gold she can have plenty of funny Cindy-isms for us to remember. Somehow I am not sure if that will happen since sarcasm isn't really mommy's thing and I don't see her starting now!  But that's why we love her!
  The kids had a fun afternoon swimming and enjoying the warm weather. It's not quite the same without you but we are doing our best to still have fun and enjoy each other. Colin keeps telling me that you are with Jesus until you stop throwing up then you will come back. He hasn't really grasped what has happened yet, he just knows that he really misses you! Cecily is still convinced that you are sleeping somewhere...which she is correct to an extent. The Bible does refer to the dead as sleeping! hehe
  This may sound strange to you but one way I have found myself coping is that throughout my day I imagine what you might be doing in heaven at that "moment". Talking with Jesus, other friends and family that have gone before, touring your new castle, eating at the banquet table, and lots of worshiping at Jesus feet! I told mom it is weird to think about the fact that you are living a whole different life without us. I am pretty jealous but I know my day will come! Until then I will do my best to further the kingdom down here and to honor Jesus in the calling that He has given me! I love you daddy!
Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley