Final Good-byes

Your funeral service was today. It was such a love/hate thing for me. I was dreading the finality of it...but ready to celebrate your life while you were here. I hated the last time I got to kiss your forehead before they closed the casket. I can't believe that was the last time that I will see your face on this side of heaven. I have thousands of more kisses and hugs to give you but now they'll have to wait til I meet you again in heaven. I hear people talk about you in past tense and internally my heart sinks to my stomach. How can you be gone?! Just 6 weeks ago we were going to lunch after church to Cafe Posada, you were holding Owen, teasing Colin, and consoling your little princess Cecily when her brother was mean to her or daddy told her no. Those seem to long ago yet like they were yesterday. I miss your big booming voice echoing through the house as you cleaned or just played around with us. I come to your house and expect to hear it....and nothing. You are gone. In the words of Colin, "How did that happen?!" Pastor John made a comment today that it would seem unreal for a little while before reality set in and that is exactly how I feel. It is unreal. My mind has not grasped what has happened. *sigh* Back to your service. It was a beautiful time with family and friends! Weston said the verse that he shared with you everynight for the last few months. Isaiah 41:10, "Do not fear for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about you. For I am your God I will strengthen you. Surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with my mighty right hand." Mommy also shocked people and shared the poem you love by Robert Browning. I will say this again, she is amazing! She is bearing this burden with grace and the with love of Christ! People who shared stories and memories about you were Grandpa and Grandma Strunk, Ms Doreen, Sharon Salvatore, Mark Koglmeier, Rick Cottle, Joe Farinella, Pam, and myself (yes I did it. It was so hard to get up there but there stories that I just had to share to make everyone giggle!) I shared about how you would put us to bed when we were little by pretending to be a charismatic preacher and you'd knock our foreheads back with the palm of your hand and say, "Be healed!". We thought that was hilarious and you'd usually have to do it 2 or 3x for each of us! I also shared your cheating side...in board games that is! I still know you didn't win that game of Where in the World is Carmen SanDiego fair and square! :-) You made my childhood so fun and joyful! You know you had a great dad when you have more memories of fun things you did than you can even begin to list off! I feel so spoiled that God gave you to me! I wish I had you longer...but alas God is on the throne, and I am not. His plan in this is perfect and I can't let myself doubt that! We sang some of your favorite songs, including In Christ Alone. It has so much more meaning to me now! Especially the last part, Til He Returns or Calls me home Here in the power of Christ I stand. It really is only by the power of Christ that I can stand. I was up most of the night last night dreading today...yet when the time came...so did the grace and the power of Christ. I could stand, I could rejoice, and I could look forward to heaven with even more anticipation! I love you daddy!!!
Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley