Helpess

Today has been a day of pretty much feeling helpless. Mom has had a really rough time and I feel so lost as to how to help her! All she wants is to be left alone to grieve her husband and yet she has so much being demanded of her physically, emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually. I wish I could help take some of it off her plate but all I can do is pray for her and help keep the house a little tidy. It's days like today where I find myself questioning God over and over again "Why did you take him?! We need him here!" I don't ever want to doubt God's plan but I find myself struggling with that very thing at this moment. I know you wouldn't ever want me to doubt God's ability to work everything out for His best and our good but..ugh...it's so hard! Seeing your mommy break down like that is just...it tears your heart out! I imagine myself in her place...trying to take care of her children, mourn for her love, be a strong woman, and above all honor God through this situation and I feel overwhelmed just IMAGINING what she is going through let alone actually walking it! I never even realized how big of a headache it can be when someone dies just working out all the money stuff, legal stuff, house stuff, insurance, medical bills, blah, blah! It's just...a nightmare!! You had a lot of things in place to make it easier but somehow it has still managed to be difficult for her. She has so many meetings to go to, paperwork to fill out, people to talk to, etc. and she has had no time to just fall to pieces and begin to heal. I am hoping that after things "settle down" a little she will let us send her on a little weekend get-away because she NEEDS IT! I don't want her having a nervous break-down on top of everything else going on.
   Moving on...after trying to "help" I just decided that I needed to leave and give her some time to herself. So I took the kids home...crying the whole way while praying. Colin is going to think his mommy talks to herself a lot because car rides lately have been a lot of "mommy talking to herself" aka praying outloud! hehe He sometimes gets irritated if I talk louder than his Veggie Tales songs...so I try to keep it down. I was so emotionally gone by the time Bryan got home he took us out to Jason's deli and to Lowe's to pick out a new faucet for mommy! Her old one (as you know) is old and broken so we got her a pretty new one! Now I just gotta find someone to install it since that is so not our thing! Computers...Bryan's got it covered...plumbing...not so much! hehe
  Well my kitchen is in desperate need of some TLC...i've neglected my duties long enough! We love and miss you something fierce!
  Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley
Clockwise: The kiddos played spy ninjas and ran around the house hiding. Curly likes to sleep in her toy bin. Bryan and Cecily sharing some yogurt. And Owen's first time sitting in a high chair!!