Spiderman and the Ballerina

  My days have been full of baby/child laughter, more pee and poo, kissing (mostly) invisible boo-boos, and missing you! Every day seems to bring out a new part of the kid's personalities. They are so funny and say the cutest things. Yesterday Colin was cleaning up toys before we left and the talking cash register said, "Hi, come play with me!" To which he replied, "I can't right now, I was just leaving to go to my grandmas". I was in the car in the garage, and heard Bryan laughing all the way inside the house! The night before that, Bryan was woken up by a noise and headed to the kitchen, only to find Cecily asleep on the floor clutching the chocolate syrup! The next morning as I got ready for church he came in and said, "You are never gonna believe what I found last night?!" And I immediately thought, "We have scorpions now?!?" but he took out his phone and showed me the picture and I just died laughing! I was doing my make up which needless to say got messed up from tears of laughter, but it's nice to have happy tears again! Since you gave us the news back on May 10th, most of my tears have been of pain and grief. But slowly I am getting my joy back even if it is mixed with the occasion heart-ache.
   The same night as the sleep-walking chocoholic, the kiddos were playing dress up. I was sitting on the couch observing because I just love watching them interact with each other. Colin grabbed the Spiderman and put it on, then found the tutu and ran to Cecily telling her, "Here baby girl! But this tutu on so you can be a ballerina!" She happily put it on and he got out the ballet bar and the pink dance mat for her too and set it all up. She twirled around on it and my heart did a happy flutter! It was like watching myself when I was little! She LOVES to dance!! Anytime she hears music her little booty starts moving, her arms go up, and her head starts tilting back and forth. You would just adore watching her dance like you used to do with your little girls! We put on lots of shows for you and you just watched us, and beamed with pride! Even though I know we weren't that great and you probably had better things to do, you sat and watched us and even gave an applause. Most of the time you ended up joining in with your awesome (HA!) dancing skills! Thankfully, unlike mommy, you never gave any of us a black eye while dancing with us!
  We have had some awesome storms this weekend and I love watching the clouds. I have always loved the clouds, but now I love them even more because it makes me feel closer to you looking up at them. They remind me of the awesome power of God and how amazing His creation is! Yet, He still loves ME and takes the time to comfort ME! It's pretty humbling!
   I came across this quote from John Piper on my friend Julie's FB and was so comforted by it. "When Satan drops a bombshell on the peace of your life the initial shock waves of emotional response are not necessarily sin. What is sin is not to do what Jesus did when the bomb fell in the Garden of Gethsemane. Sin is yielding to depression. Sin is not taking the armour of God. Sin is not waging spiritual warfare. But Jesus shows us another way. It’s not painless, but it’s not passive either. And I want us to follow him in it." I keep feeling like a lot of the emotions I have during this trial are wrong, but yet it's not the emotion that is wrong, it's how I handle it that makes it sin or not. It's so easy to get depressed, stay angry, and become bitter, but I know that will only lead to sin. And there is NO way I want to add sin onto this situation! hehe Another awesome quote from her blog (seriously, God has placed in her my life for this very season! She has blessed me so much in sharing her own journey with Christ and losing both parents at a young age I can't even begin to thank the Lord enough for her!) is from I believe Beth Moore, "It will often be crisis that God uses to pivot our direction." Wow! How true is that?! When life is going great and everything seems to be just peachy, why change? God has to give us a REASON to pivot our course and this has definietly shifted mine! And I know it has shifted it for the better. Even though I never ever ever wanted the crisis to be losing my dad (I mean, couldn't it have been my little toe?!?!) I know that He has so much He wants to use me for in this life and I don't want anger, depression, or bitterness ruin that! It may never seem "fair" that I lost my dad and my kids lost their grandpa so young, but in all fairness, (as you always said) we all deserve death for our sins. Yet He sent His son to die for OUR sins and THAT right there is UNFAIR!
   Well, we are getting our rugs cleaned tomorrow! YAY! So I best go finish getting the floor picked up so that they can do their thing. We haven't had them cleaned in over a year and it was LOOOONG over due! I won't even take pictures on the carpet because there are so many spots on them it freaks this OCD momma out! hehe I love you daddy and I miss you so much!
   Your Favorite Second Born,
   Carley
The first picture cracks me up because I was trying to take one of Owen and I got Cecily in the background putting pot holders on her head! She's such a hoot!