Bargaining

Today is Sunday...but sadly only Bryan made it to church. I was completely worn out from the long week last week! We all went to Village Inn for lunch and had a nice time but it was yet another reminder that you aren't here. I get a knot in my stomach every time the realization hits...you're gone. The kids have stopped asking where you are which I guess makes it a little easier on me. It's always difficult to explain to them where you are when they are crying and asking for Grandpa Wayne. I do show them pictures of you and remind them about all the fun times they had with you. I don't ever want them to forget their grandpa! After lunch we went home and had naps then I decided that I wanted to cook for everyone so that mommy didn't have to worry about it. She has a LOT on her plate! So I made stir-fry and chocolate cake...and I cleaned up the whole mess including the floors just to make you proud! hehe Bryan is picking Stacey up the from the airport tonight and everyone is happy to have her back! We have missed her...I don't know what we are going to do when she goes back to MO in August!
  Some grandkid updates...Owen is now the proud owner of 2 new sharp teeth! Unlike his older siblings who made it VERY obvious they were teething, he broke them through with very little indication he was teething. He's the perfect baby! hehe I have tried taking a picture of it for you but no luck! He always gets his tongue in the way by the time the camera adjusts. Colin is still in the sometimes-makes-it-to-the-potty stage. Cecily on the other hand is doing really well with potty training and I have a suspicion she may be fully trained before her brother! But that really is no surprise to you I am sure! Cecily also has discovered a love for "Buzz Yightyear" and has a stuffed one that she carries around and sticks in her grocery cart. She always wants to watch Toys Story 3 and giggles everytime Buzz comes on. It's quite adorable! She did however start a not so wonderful trait....pouting! And oh man is she good at it! Think Mattie as a toddler. She pouts about EVERYTHING! If you even say (in a nice voice) "Cecily be nice to Curly." She slaps her thighs, drops her head, sticks her lower lip out, and cries. It's cute and irritating all at the same time!
  Well here is my honesty for the day...I have had a rough day dealing with your death. Maybe it's hormones I don't know but I have felt so angry and upset. In my head I keep "bargaining" with the Lord. If I do or don't do something maybe He'll bring you back. I know it's silly because that isn't going to happen but I can't help but feeling desperate enough to try! I don't want you in Heaven...even though it is the best place you could be...I want you here! I want you to celebrate the 4th of July with us, I want you to be here for my birthday, I want you and mom to go away for your anniversary, I want you to see my kids grow up! I want so many things yet the Lord has said, "no." I know that His no means it is for my best, just like when I tell my kids no to something because I have something even better coming that they are unaware of. But I can't help but question His decision to take you. One day the reason behind His no will be revealed but until then...I honestly will try to "bargain" with Him every so often. hehe Sorry, I just can't help it! I have so much faith in my Saviour I know that IF He wanted to, He COULD bring you back just like those dry bones in the bible! I "blame" my faith on you! hehe
  It's time to put Owen to bed! I love you daddy! And I don't even need to tell you how much you are missed!
Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley

Cecily always let's Curly out...here she is trying to get her to run away!