The last Lladro

   As I was cleaning today I went to dust my china cabinet and there they are...the beautiful Lladro's you have gotten me over the years. Tears started dripping down my face as I picked up the last one I will ever receive from you. It was my traditional last-day-of-Channukah present and has been so special to me! You picked them out with such care and they are all just beautiful! Bryan said he isn't sure he can afford to pick up that tradition but I told I didn't want him to because, "no offense, it just won't be as special!" So he is trying to come up with a new and cheaper tradition for me. hehe Such a thoughtful hubby! So, yet another thing to remind me of you...currently it's a little painful but over time it will be a sweet memory when I walk by my beautiful cabinet (that ironically you bought us as well).
   My day started with a headache and as it went on it got worse and worse and by the time church was out I had a bad migraine. So we got a quick lunch and I came home and laid down for a nap. I was hoping it would go away, but sadly it didn't. I tried to ice my head...no luck. After a very unproductive afternoon and really needing to plan meals for the week I gave in a took ibuprofen. It took forever to kick in but it finally did the trick and I was able to grocery shop and get some cleaning done! I had some thank you notes to write, my nightly journal for the kids, and of course this one. I am glad to actually be able to function again!
  Your little Dorothy is at camp this week and we miss her lots! Colin really wants her to have a sleep over when she gets back so hopefully she will be up for that! I don't know how she survives up there...but she isn't quite the princess that I am! hehe I do remember the one camping trip to (I believe) Canyon Lake that you took Stacey and I on, I swore a bear was going to get us! In hindsight...I don't think there are any bears there! But hey, to a 7ish year old...it was a real threat!
   Here is my God lesson for the day. I came across this quote this morning and it has stuck with me all day. “When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer.” Corrie Ten Boom. At the moment I am in the middle of that tunnel. It is dark, and I don't see the light at the end of it. But trying to jump off would only leave me trapped in the darkness! I need to stay on this "train" and trust that the Conductor will get me through this dark tunnel unharmed and dare I say better than I was before I entered it! Sometimes I feel like standing up and crying out in fear, but in those moments of hopelessness, God has made Himself even sweeter to me. I long for the moment of seeing that light at the other side, but I am learning to just sit still, and let God work the controls! Not the easiest thing for me...but I am growing!
   Colin has asked for you a lot today! He is REALLY missing you! I find the days that it is hardest on him are the days it is hardest on me. I told mom, in his mind it is almost like you abandoned him. He doesn't know why you won't come back, and he thinks if he asks often enough, maybe you will. I can relate so well to that! Sometimes I feel like if I ask Jesus enough, He will break open that grave and you will come walking out of it! Oh wouldn't that be nice?! *sigh* a girl can dream!
    I should get to bed so that I don't get my Monday migraine for the 3rd week in a row. I am hoping today's migraine was monday's coming a day early! I love you...give my baby boy a kiss from me! 
   Your Favorite Second Born,
     Carley