Family Resemblance

Over the weekend we celebrated your mommy's 28th {aka 82nd} birthday. There were lots of us there but lots were also missing! Slowly everyone is moving out of state so family parties are getting smaller and smaller. It's a sad fact of life! hehe One thing that has been hard for me to get past is the fact that your brothers look, sound, and have similar mannerisms to you. Just talking to them gives me a lump in my throat because it reminds me of talking to you. I think finally after a year a half my heart is finally catching up with the fact that you really are gone. Bryan, being the literal/realist person he is, is having a hard time understanding how I still sometimes can't comprehend that you are gone. I subconsciously hope that after like 5-10 years you'll miraculously reappear and this whole nightmare will be over. That seems like a do-able amount of time to go without you yet still have it hurt like a dagger to the heart and a punch to the stomach. Then that cruel thing called reality hits and my conscience side says no you really won't see him again here on this side of Heaven. It. Seriously. Sucks!
  In order to not further depress myself I will give you the grandkid update to lighten the mood! Colin is getting bigger by the second. He eats more than I do most of the time and I am pretty sure between him and Owen we will be eaten out of house and home by the time they are in HS. He is doing really well in school and I love watching him learn. He gets so excited to share with Bryan when he gets home all that he learned that day. Counting is still a struggle for him but he excels in spelling, reading, and writing. Cecily is growing up into a little lady before my eyes. She adores Lucy and tells everyone that "she is my wittle sister and i'm her big sister!" She is also doing great in school and never ceases to amaze me with what she can do and remembers. I sometimes underestimate her abilities because she is really good at looking/acting clueless but she's a very smart little girl if you give her the chance! Princess are still a favorite and just like her mommy she also collects stuffed animals and knows when 1 is missing from her bed {and won't sleep until I find it}. I don't know where she got that from! Owen turned 2 and with that has come some....attitude changes. He loves playing with the older kids but he also gets in the way so I spend most of the time telling him not to hit or punch them just because he is being left out. He learned his abc's and oh my goodness it's the cutest thing ever! Whenever I do school with the kids he just sits there and repeats everything I am teaching them. He may just breeze past preschool and start going to high school in a matter of a few years! hehe Lucy, oh my little Lucy! She is trying to kill me via sleep deprivation. I don't think she realizes this is not in her best interest because if she kills me I take my milky with me. But whatever the case, it's beginning to wear on me. Since the beginning of December I have been woken up every hour on the hour. I can guarantee by the time I doze back off I will only have gotten about 45 minutes of sleep max by the time she is up again. We have tried lots of things and some have worked and others haven't, but I am just convinced that my girls are terrible sleepers! I'm now praying for 10 boys after this because I can't handle anymore bad sleppers! hehe She had her 6 month check up last week and she is weighing in at 19lbs and 27in long. Short, fat, and proud of that! She says mama and dadda and is rocking back and forth like she is wanting to crawl. I doubt she'll start crawling for at least another month or two but she may surprise me! She has no teeth yet despite their best effort to pop through. Her little personality is really starting to come out and we can tell that she likes your FULL attention, to not be alone...ever, and she loves to "sing" and dance. She may just be like Auntie Tobin afterall!
    Well, I did 12 loads of laundry today so I am spent! It's time to go veg on the couch with some tea and watch Castle. I love you and miss you!!!
Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley

You and your mommy, she misses you daddy!

The last birthday you celebrated with her

Now for some cuteness...Owen saying his ABC's

Lucy's first pigtail...she hated it but it was oh so cute!

This is her I just nursed belly....she gives Santa a run for his money!

This is Owen's "I just got hit in the face with a book my sister threw at me" face. Poor kid can't catch a break!

Lucy waiting for the dr to come in to check her out...the appt was a disaster because both her and Owen had appointments and they both screamed bloody murder the entire time! The dr was yelling over them just to talk to me and we couldn't even communicate with each other. It was very frustrating and stressful but at least I didn't have any concerns to discuss.

 Cecily's outfit to go to the park...I think something important is missing...

Colin spelled Batman by himself...he was pretty proud of it!

It's a Shaaaaaaark

  Your crazy little Owen turned 2 a week and a half ago. We had his party last weekend and it was quite the to-do! I decided to pour my grief into his party and with the help of Dorothy and Tobin we made some amazing party decor! Mom said we should go into business doing it but I just don't think I have the energy to do all that work again anytime soon! I am sure Owen probably will not remember this party but I know I always will so that's all that counts, right?! We had lots of family and friends there and as always I was blessed by everyone who came to celebrate our little guy with us! It was a shark theme...with some nautical twists. One of my favorite Owen quotes is when we see any type of shark and he says, "It's a shaaaaaaaark" in a very low raspy voice. It was one of the first "sentences" he put together at around a year old and since then he's had a growing love of sharks. Maybe he'll go deep see diving to see sharks someday? That would make this momma very nervous so I won't be encouraging that...but they don't always listen as you well know! hehe
  I heard a quote this week that I just loved and has had me thinking a lot about my experiences and what they have taught me. 

“Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.” 

C.S. Lewis

I was very blessed to have not had a lot of bad experiences growing up and had a great childhood that I look back on fondly. Sure there were normal kid experiences that I went through {watching you flush my fish down the toilet, getting grounded for lipping off, having my cell phone taken away when I went waaaay over my texting limits, etc} but they don't really count for anything in the world of "experience". Let's face it, most of them were self inflicted anyways! I did learn many lessons through them like my dad is heartless, to control my mouth, and that sending over 6,000 text messages in one month is not a good idea, but they weren't really all that life changing. Ok maybe the lipping off one was...but we have unlimited texting now so I am free to text however much I want! {Take that, dad!} However, after getting married I learned a hard lesson for the first time...life is fragile and uncertain. At the time I hated it and wondered why God would be so "mean" but looking back those lessons I learned through losing Geoffrey have shaped who I am today and I wouldn't change them if I could do it all over again. In the words of Bryan:

Toady's wisdom laughs at Yesterdays.

If only I knew then what I knew now I would not have fought that refining and those lessons as strongly as I did. Another aspect of those experiences that I am so grateful for is that they have given me a much deeper understanding of the pain in those around me. Had I not experienced a loss myself I would not fully be able to grieve with all the ladies around me who have walked this same path. Had I not lost you I would not know the depth of the pain you feel when you lose a parent at a young age. Sure, before those experiences I was very sad for people, but there is no way of fully comprehending pain unless you have been brought through the same fire. I have learned to treasure the fact that I can now fully sympathize with those who have walked a similar path. It's not one that I would wish on anyone...but there IS sweetness on this path, there IS hope on this path, and most importantly there IS a Savior walking it with us and for that I am truly thankful! So as much as I hate to say it, and as much as I hate that God had to pick me to gain this experience, these lessons are invaluable and this refining process {though painful} will produce the most beautiful jewel in me if I allow Him to fully shape and mold me. 

  I love you and miss you, oh how I miss you! Heaven seems like forever when I know not how long I have left until I see you again!

Your Favorite Second Born,

Carley

Some party pics...We went a little overboard!

 This was a special tribute to you...I don't know if you remember this but about 4 years back you forgot about my birthday until last minute so you went to CVS and bought the most random gifts ever. One of which was a shark fin ice cube mold. At the time I almost just gave it away because I thought "when am I ever going to use that?!" But as always God had a plan...even for a shark fin ice mold! So we thought of you everytime we saw the sharks circling the punch bowl! Thanks for the gift!

 The kiddos were digging for shark teeth

 

The Sky is the Limit

While eating dinner tonight Colin decided what his future plans were...in this order this is what he wants to do: work at Fry's grocery store, then on to Costco, following that he wants to work at In & Out, after that he wants to work at Jason's deli because he likes their food. When Bryan asked what he planned on doing after Jason's deli he said, "I don't know, I haven't thought about it yet!" Haha we love this kid! Though we may have to work on his future goals...unless of course he wants to own a Jason's deli to which we would happily approve!
Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley

Survival: Mom vs House

  First let me start by saying I don't know how you and mom did it! Since having Lucy it has felt like we are in survival mode. We sometimes get extra stuff accomplished {for instance we cleaned out all the papers from the office filing cabinet this weekend} but for the most part it is simply a game of surviving. I think we are slowly getting out of this rough patch and able to be a little productive again but we are far from our norm. I keep up with the kitchen, get clothes washed {though folding and putting them away is a whole different story}, and do school with the kids 4 days a week but that's pretty much all the extra work I have been able to accomplish. Toys are disaster, the dust in this house is probably an inch thick {ok I am slightly exaggerating}, bathrooms get cleaned every other week instead of weekly, my car hasn't been cleaned in months, and the floors...don't even go there! I don't even like Bryan seeing the house let alone anyone else. BUT I am slowly making progress and beginning to feel like I can get back on top of this mountain again. Mommy has said that she will come help me fold laundry...hopefully she does soon or we may end up using it as rugs. Seriously.
   We had a nice weekend with little to do which was a much needed break! Since about October of last year we have had things going on almost every weekend! It was very overwhelming but I am just like you and can't tell people no. So I would commit...and then Bryan would give me the look of "you are crazy" which I receive often. So this week I am trying to keep things low key so we can be home more and not go-go-go. Last week was full of fun things though, we went to the Butterfly Wonderland on a homeschool field trip and then to the zoo. The Butterfly place was a mild disaster because Cecily was terrified and Owen was trying to kill them. In fact...he did. So I spent the whole time trying to keep Owen the Butterfly Trampler from wrecking havoc and Cecily from having a panic attack from all the butterflies landing on her bright colored clothing. Colin loved it and tried to stand very still to have them land on him...it took a while but he finally got one! Of course I didn't get a picture but oh well! Owen's favorite part was the aquarium and they even had some little sharks in the tanks which he thought was awesome! It was a great trip and the kids loved learning all about butterflies...as much as they could for being traumatized!
   Well I promised the kids I would make smoothies for dessert and I am being stared at by all 3 of them with a look of "hurry or else". I love you so dearly and to say I miss you is an understatement!
Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley

   Mommy sent me some pictures of you tonight and it made my heart hurt to see them...they are pictures of you doing your "thing". Oh how I long to see you back in your "element"

Now for some pics of the kiddos and of our week!

 They really are best buds...he adores her and the feeling is mutual!

 This is how I spent my week...with Owen right next to me!

 And Lucy up until 2am then awake every 45 minutes to an hour after that until she woke up for good around 8am.

 After this picture Cecily ripped the flower out of her hair and wouldn't let me put it back in because it attracted the butterflies haha

 Those feet you see are Owen's...this was less than a second before that butterfly met it's untimely death at the feet of Owen

 Weston trying to get a butterfly to land on him...he had a great time!

 Handsome guys!

 The fish pond

 Lucy and Dorothy matched..it was adorable!

 He waited so patiently to get a butterfly to land on him!

 Lucy has been wanting food baaaad and my supply has been pretty poor so after nursing her every 45 minutes all night for weeks now we decided to try some carrots...she still didn't sleep but she sure did love them!

 Our Saturday Jason's Deli lunch..that is Owen's smile when you ask him to pose! lol

 This was a pretty regular site at our house this week

 Mommy got Owen a Charlie Brown shirt to take a picture with her Charlie Brown Christmas tree. He really does look like Charlie Brown with a little more hair

 Love this kid!