It's been a crazy first half of the year! Lots of changes, uncomfortable situations, joyful moments, growth, and challenges. We have become stronger as a family which is a beautiful thing to see! We are still house hunting but I have resigned myself to just letting Bryan do his thing and when it's the right one, he will know it and feel confident in his decision! Our goal is to find something in the fall/winter so we aren't moving over the summer. It's all in His timing though! I am content in this house, however storage is something I am greatly craving! I actually have sad feelings about moving because I have now birthed 5 kids in this house and you were a big part in our early renovations. The backyard was totally your vision and you put all the work into it. How blessed I feel to have had you there for my early years of marriage! You helped two naive "babies" navigate the crazy world of homeownership and I am forever grateful and humbled by your generosity and love!
Speaking of moving, we finally have a church that we are so very blessed to be a part of! In the fall when we were discussing what we were going to do and had visited lots of churches we joked that we would know it was where God wanted us if we didn't scare people off with how many of us there are. After a few weeks of trying "Pipe Jar Fellowship" Bryan made the comment that so far no one seemed to be running. And since then we have found the opposite to be true. They have embraced all of our crazy and taken us in and LOVED us for who we are as a family of 7. Bryan said one of his biggest desires was for us to find a church that I could plug in and connect with ladies there and if he so happened to connect with the men, that would be a bonus! We are so humbled and blessed that we BOTH have connected with the couples there and better yet our kids all have such a fun time together and are building sweet friendships. We could not have asked God for a better place to be at this point in our lives! It's so incredible for me to see that each of the ladies in the group are exactly what I need at this point in my life and have blessed me more than they could ever know! Last year I was feeling so alone and so disconnected and truthfully just depressed. I feel like I am starting to do life again for the first time since your death and I am beginning to not just survive but THRIVE. It's like a huge weight has been lifted off of me and knowing we have a community of people that are here for us, love us, support us, and encourage us has been a sweet drink to my soul. The song Never Once has been echoing in my head today and specifically the words "You are faithful God, You are faithful" resonate so deeply in my heart.
Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we've come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You've done
Knowing every victory
Is Your power in us
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we'll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
I can't tell you how many times daddy I felt like I WAS alone, then on cue He would remind me so tenderly that He was still beside me carrying me when my own feet were not enough. These past 3 years have taught me what feels like a lifetime of lessons yet I know I still have so much more to learn. I have begun to sift through the HARD questions of loss and how they have affected me and so much healing has begun. I know I am not the same person I was 3 years ago, but because God has redeemed me and my life, there will be a beautiful ending to my story!
Your grandbabies are all doing so well and I wish I could pause life for just a minute to soak up these precious days! Colin is almost 7...how?! Just yesterday we were giving him bubble baths on your kitchen counter in the blow up bathtub and singing "Colly Wally you're the one, you make bathtime so much fun!" While he giggled and splashed and now he is going into 2nd grade and just as inquisitive as ever! He asks me so many questions and wants a solid answer...half thought out answers don't suffice! Google is my best friend these days for those questions that I just can't answer! haha Yesterday on his date with Bryan he was telling him how he dreamed he was a pronghorn and could even run across the water! I love the imagination God gave him! Then there is Cecily, sweet Cessy just turned 5 and is as stubborn and endearing as always! She has Grandpa Tim wrapped around her finger and can get just about anything she wants out of him. Their relationship is something that only God could have orchestrated. I know you would have been equally as smitten with her and she with you, but God in his faithfulness brought a man into mom's life that would treat your princess as royally as you would have. For that I am truly humbled and thankful! She is going into 1st grade this fall and will be starting ballet up again soon. She LOOOOVES to dance and when music plays, she shows off her stuff! My inner ballet dancer melts when I see the smile on her face as she performs for anyone who will watch. Owen, that little boy has a smile that is contagious and laughter that could lift the spirits of even the grumpiest of people! He loves to make people laugh, and while typing this came up to me just to stroke my face and kiss my cheek in between playing. He is going to be doing preschool this year and I know he will rock it! Animals are a favorite of his and he can tell you all about the vampire squid, whale shark, blue whale, caracals, crab spiders, and more! I often wonder if he will be a zoologist when he grows up. It is such a passion of his and he is always seeking more information on what they do, what they eat, where they live, who their predators are, and if he can have one as a pet. Lucy, or crazy Lu as we call her is just as feisty as ever! We adore our little firecracker and not a day goes by that I don't just stare at her mischevious faces and thank the Lord for our Joy after Sorrow. At any given moment you will find her jumping on the couch, trying to fly off the back of the couch, climbing the kitchen counters, giving Mollie things she shouldn't have, and loving on her little brother. She will be 2 soon and I can hardly believe she is that old! Seems like only last week she was my little pink bundle keeping me up all night in the sweetest way! Last but not least, little Lincoln. He is growing like a weed true to Spears form and is trying to catch up to his big brothers! He is only 2 months old yet wearing 6-9 months clothing, weighs over 15lbs, and is starting to try to sit up. He refuses to be left behind and I feel that may be a trend with him as he gets bigger. He sleeps for 8-9 hours at night STRAIGHT and if it wasn't for his older siblings waking me up I would be full of energy! :-) We are so in love with him and grateful for God's goodness in allowing us to raise him!
Well that about wraps it up for us! I have some SUPER amazing and exciting things to share with you but nap time is over and kids need a snack! I love you so very much and my heart looks forward to the day when I see you again!
Your Favorite Second Born,
Carley
Some picture for your viewing pleasure. I don't have time to caption them, but you will get the gist of it! ;-)
